may 16, 2001 // (secret)(master) plan //
K and i are still discussing our plan. i'm too practical to
actually go through with something like this (i'm notorious for getting ahead of myself)
but i think i can with someone there with me.
with how i've been feeling these days, it seems like the best thing to do. last time i felt this way, i followed my instinct and went with it without thinking, worrying or freaking out. it was one of the best decisions i've ever made and i'm hoping it will be the same this time.
if the master plan doesn't work out, i guess i'll just have to dye my hair again. something better change soon or else my hair will turn the color of fire truck. i may not have control over other things but i have control over my hair color, dammit. my hair no longer feels soft and smooth and its lost the little shine it did have. my hair suffers a lot. (well, not as much as ___ does.)
... i realize that i don't feel 100% comfortable with being 100% open. i can't reveal inner turmoil, issues, desires, you know, personal shit, in this open space. this is so painfully obvious when i read my "entries" and i realize they're really more like "post-it" notes.
it must be because i'm a novice at this weblog thing. (and i'm shy. ha!) i'm sure in no time, i will have lots of pictures of myself posing in front of the camera and i'll be so open and frank about my problems, issues and whatever i have to complain about and it'll cause people to think, "ohmigod, does she have no shame?"
well, until then, post-it notes it is. i guess i'm ok with that. i'm not getting rid of my regular journal anytime soon.