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june 14, 2001 // 4 am babble //

i'm working on a resume. the job was posted on may 24th and i'm almost positive that it's too late but i can't live the life of an unemployment check collecting--ceramics class taking--magazine reading-- bum who wakes up waaaay too late. why now and not last week or last month or the month before? we need a gate for the house and i should pay. some fucker tried to break in but left when he realized people were home. so we need a lock on the gate so that people can't let themselves in and we might as well as just get the metal gate that we've been talking about getting since 1994 (when we moved in) since the wooden gate that T had built for us is almost falling apart.

and then once we get the gate done, we need to get a sensor light over the garage because mom's car's been broken into a couple of times and we think that sensor light would (hopefully) deter people from messing with our car. i wish we could move to a place where we don't have to deal with fucking thieves and asshole neighbors. we live two doors from a crazy guy that threatened to kill R, whose just as crazy dog bit our pet goose, gonzo, in the neck and we had to watch him die in my mom's arms. there was blood everywhere and we couldn't do anything about it. there wasn't enough time to take him to the vet and we saw him slowly die right in front of our eyes. needless to say, it was very traumatic for all of us, especially for my brother, who was only about 7 years old at the time. oh and 5 doors from us to the right lives some kid with lots of punk ass friends that bother us when we go out for walks with coco. i'm going to write the address down and call the cops on them next time.

but our immediate neighbors are great. mr.S always mows our lawn and sometimes even comes over to help us out in the yard. T lives to the left of us and i've known her since high school and everyone in her family is super nice.

oh, back to the getting a job thing. it's simple as that. i need to look for a job because we need to pay for the door. i wish i could do whatever i wanted to do without worrying about money. but that's probably what a lot of people wish for. i've managed to eat away at all my "savings" during the last month and half and now i have to suppress the urge to cry everytime i withdraw money and i see the balance on my checking account.


it's already 4 am and i still have to work on a cover letter. i'm so not good at this job search thing. i have really strong work ethics (i'd say a little too strong for my own good) but i'm not so good at this thing that will get me a job. then it's one down and 4 more to go (if they're still looking for people, that is). i hear that these days, jobs get filled within hours after being posted and that people are lucky to hear back from a handful of potential employers only if they send out, like, 25 resumes a day. is that really true?

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